The Big Book of Girl Stuff Read online

  The United Nations rates Sweden as the only country where women really are equal to men. About half of their politicians (including the Cabinet and Parliament) are female. Sweden is also usually rated as having the highest standard of living in the world. Coincidence? We think not!

  But women have served as president (or in a job with similar responsibilities) in countries on every continent of the world, except Antarctica. (Those sexist penguins!)

  France has a law called loi sur la parité, which means law of equality. This law says that political parties must have as many female candidates running for office as male candidates. This helps make sure that there are enough leaders in the country who are women.

  Since TV was invented, if you wanted to bet on which candidate would be elected President of the United States, it has almost always been the one with the most hair. So if a woman runs for president, she should win!

  How is all this possible? For starters, this is still a sexist world, but it used to be a lot more sexist. Heck, before 1920, women weren’t even legally allowed to vote in the United States in national elections!

  Back in 1878, an amendment to the U.S. Constitution allowing women to vote was introduced in Congress. This amendment failed to pass every year for the next 40 years. You see, the amendment was really controversial. It basically said, “The right of female citizens to vote shall not be denied.” Want to know why it took so long to pass this amendment? Because all the politicians and voters were men!

  Times have changed a lot since then, but most of our politicians are still men. Why should they get a majority voice? Can we trust men to always do the right thing? Let’s see: Since about 93 percent of all the criminals locked up in U.S. prisons are men, they’re not exactly showing us good leadership qualities.

  “That Dress Is So Cute, It’s a Crime I Don’t Have It!”

  About 70 percent of women who get arrested are taken in for shoplifting. It’s probably better just to wait for a sale.

  Women have had to fight hard to get rights in this country. The time will come in your life when someone thinks you can’t do something just because you are female. Don’t wait for that to happen to start getting involved in how our country is run.

  Sexism, Part I

  Until about 1900, girls in the United States didn’t usually go to school. Even then, while girls were allowed to go to high school, college was considered to be a bad influence for them. Men didn’t believe that the female brain could learn math or science, and there were worries that the smarter a woman got, the more health problems she might have. Really!

  Sexism, Part II

  Right up until 1963, if a job was listed in the classified ads, it could have two different pay scales—one for men and one for women. The women’s pay scale would be lower, even though the job was the same.

  School

  “For every one of us that succeeds, it’s because there’s somebody there to show you the way out. The light doesn’t always necessarily have to be in your family; for me it was teachers and school.”

  —Oprah Winfrey

  To be all you can be you’ll need a good education. You don’t want a lecture on this, so here’s just ONE thing to think about: A girl might grow up and choose to have kids. Guess who usually raises the kids and teaches them about the world? Women! So what a girl learns in her life is what she is going to pass along to her children. In other words, a girl has to get an education for herself and her future family.

  Do you think that the school year is too long? Please! You have it easy. The odds are that you go to school 185 days a year. Look at the number of school days in each year of these countries:

  Switzerland, 207

  Russia and Germany, 210

  Israel, 215

  South Korea, 220

  Japan, 243

  China, 251

  Start Improving the World Today

  “If you have a bit of knowledge, a piece of information, or some love to give, you ought to give it up.”

  —Lauryn Hill

  Hey, if we can’t count on girls, we can’t count on anybody! We know that girls like you are interested in helping others. More than half of girls your age think of themselves as leaders, so go show the world what you’re made of.

  If you’re not sure where to find out about opportunities for helping out, there are many places to turn. Check with your local Girl Scouts troop, YWCA, zoo, or contact one of the organizations below. See what you can do to make this world a better place. We need your help!

  American Red Cross: http://www.redcross.org/

  Guide Dogs for the Blind (western U.S.) http://www.guidedogs.com/

  Guiding Eyes for the Blind, Inc. (eastern U.S.) http://www.guiding-eyes.org/

  Humane Society of the U.S.: http://www.hsus.org/home.html

  Keep a Child Alive: http://www.keepachildalive.org/

  Pets 911: http://www.pets911.com/index.php

  Sierra Club Youth Services: http://www.sierraclub.org/youthservices/

  Special Olympics, Inc.: http://www.specialolympics.org/

  The White House Project: http://www.thewhitehouseproject.org

  Boys

  “Of all the animals, the boy is the most troublesome and the most fascinating.”

  —Apricot Plum

  If boys are the “opposite sex,” does that mean that they really are completely different from girls? Let’s find out!

  Look at the cross-section of a boy’s brain. It looks pretty different!

  As you go through school, at some point it will seem like all your friends are always talking about boys and couples. And you’ll think, “Everyone’s boy crazy! How did things change so fast? We used to dislike boys.”

  And it’s true! If you ask little girls in kindergarten how much they like boys, the girls will rate boys as being “okay.” After that, the boys will get steadily worse ratings from the girls every year, all the way through fourth grade. Why do little girls dislike little boys? One theory is that it’s because little boys are brats! (What’s with all this “cooties” stuff, anyway?)

  If ever you find yourself annoyed by a bratty little boy, try using this mystical chant to solve your problem. It was written by wise girls many years ago:

  Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider,

  Girls go to college to get more knowledge.

  Crisscross, applesauce,

  I hate boys!

  That just might help you.

  Annoying Boy Problems

  Here are some other annoying problems that younger boys sometimes have.

  Annoying Problem: He picks his nose.

  Is This Normal? Yes.

  Annoying Problem: He likes to give wedgies.

  Why Does He Do This? Scientists have been studying Boys and the Mystery of the Wedgie for years, and still have no idea why boys do this. It may be a way primitive people communicate with each other. No one knows for sure. What is certain is that you should keep an eye on any boy who likes to give wedgies.

  Annoying Problem: He winked at you.

  Is This Normal? The technical term for winking is nictitating. Does that sound normal to you?

  Annoying Problem: He wrote you this note:

  Hi!

  I’m guessing that you’re from Tennessee, because you’re the only “ten,” I see! I know you’re good at science. Are you going to be a female astronaut? Because you are really out of this world! If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together! What do you say?

  Timmy

  Is This Normal? Not unless you think it’s funny.

  As you can see, most boys’ problems have to do with maturity. The fact is that most boys mature more slowly than girls. That’s mentally and physically!

  This is why girls and boys sometimes don’t have a lot in common in 6th through 8th grade. (Of course, this is also when many girls get interested in boys.) But boys are sooo immature. It makes sense that in many cultures throughout history, girls got married in their early teens, whil
e boys weren’t allowed to get married until they were in their 20s or older. This may also explain why so many women end up marrying men who are a few years older than they are.

  If you’re trying to understand boys, one important thing to know is that a boy never wants to look like a sissy to the other boys. That’s why even little boys will act macho, like they weigh 300 pounds and are covered in tattoos. It’s silly, but a boy starts pretending he’s a man when he’s just a kid. (And then he never stops pretending for the rest of his life.)

  Because of this, as boys get older, many boys often won’t show much emotion. These older boys are like poker players, but instead of hiding their cards, they hide their feelings. Your average boy is not going to want to tell you any of his feelings because for him, these are his “secrets.”

  It’s not their fault, though. Boys are often told if they show their feelings that they are “acting like a girl.” A boy playing with dolls (or doing any other “girl” activity) is teased much more than a girl playing football (or any other “boy” activity). So life can be tough for boys in ways that girls don’t have to worry about.

  *Did you know that “MACHO” actually stands for “Males Acting Childish, Horrible, and Obnoxious”?

  “Father, May I Grow?”

  A tribe of people named the Malagasy live in Madagascar. One of their customs is that a boy cannot grow taller than his father without permission. If he wants permission, he must buy the right to grow taller by giving his dad an ox.

  Communication

  “Boys frustrate me. I hate all their indirect messages . . . Do you like me or don’t you? Just tell me so I can get over you.”

  —Kirsten Dunst

  Girls like to talk. That’s because it’s fun to do something you’re good at! There is a scientific reason for this. A girl has shorter vocal cords than a boy, so it actually takes less effort for her to talk. As for boys‚ their vocal cords double in length during puberty. This can make it a lot of work for them to spit something out! Guys are four times more likely than girls to have a stuttering problem. So, because many boys aren’t as good at talking as girls, they do less of it.

  *Studies show the number one thing guys find annoying about girls is that they “talk too much.”

  Boys and their talking problems may not get better anytime soon. Every year, boys spend more and more time playing video games, which isn’t very good for their social skills. One of Japan’s hottest-selling video games is a “love simulation” game. In it, a boy tries to get a girl to go on a date with him. One young man wrote that he liked the game because he was “not interested in real girls.” Scary, huh?

  Because many boys aren’t the greatest communicators, they often don’t understand basic girl language. For example, if you say, “I don’t have anything to wear,” you mean that you’re frustrated with all your clothes and none of them look good on you at the moment.

  But when a boy hears you say, “I don’t have anything to wear,” he thinks you’re insane because you have a closet full of clothes.

  Often boys don’t use words to show their feelings. Instead, they let their facial expressions communicate for them. See if you can guess which feeling matches up with the boy’s expression.

  Guy Fashion

  You might be able to tell a little something about a boy from the way he dresses. Many boys just wear whatever combination of T-shirt/shorts/jeans/cap/jacket that is the guy uniform of the year. Sometimes a boy will even be wearing new clothes, but you’ll think they are the same ones from the day before because they look the same. But other guys will branch out more and express themselves with their clothes, shoes, and even hair.

  If a boy dresses with style (good or bad), you have to give him points for trying. Let’s see what some of the more unusual fashion choices for boys might mean.

  Shoes

  none Your school allows this?

  Birkenstocks He cares about the environment!

  sandals with socks He’s either a real rebel or a real nerd . . . or both!

  penny loafers Look at the sentence right above this one.

  tube socks with shorts He just got out of a time machine.

  Pants

  jeans Pretty basic.

  khakis A little more style.

  white pants He’s probably friendly and he might have ice cream!

  leather pants He probably isn’t friendly. He probably doesn’t have ice cream.

  Shirts

  tie-dyed T-shirts Mean people never wear tie-dye, so he must be nice.

  T-shirts with odd or funny sayings How funny is it?

  muscle shirts or tank tops Not a good sign.

  satin or silk shirts Fancy! He might be a better dresser than most girls.

  velvet shirts That’s REALLY fancy.

  Velveeta shirts Yech!

  Hair

  mullet If he’s plays hockey or is Canadian, it’s okay.

  shaved head Fine, as long as his scalp doesn’t look like oatmeal.

  long hair or ponytail If he plays guitar, okay. If he is the Dungeon Master of the D&D club, not so okay.

  dread-locks Cool!

  crew cut Retro!

  greasy or with dandruff Ick! He’s shampoo challenged!

  frosted/highlighted hair He spends more time on his hair than you do.

  lots of mousse or hair products If the fire alarm goes off, avoid him—he could be a fire hazard!

  Other

  suspenders His grandfather helps him dress!

  suspenders with a belt How hard IS it to keep up his pants?

  bolo tie Rodeo star!

  bow-tie Do you live in North America?

  kilt Now, THIS guy’s an individual!

  lots of rings, chains, or other jewelry Not a good sign.

  a chain attached to his wallet Smart! This stops all those pickpockets at your school!

  pierced ear Fine, but no more than one per ear.

  pierced face Smile politely and walk away.

  pierced internal organs Smile politely, then RUN away!

  tattoos How old is this kid?

  Friendship

  So far in this chapter, we’ve done a fair amount of trash-talking about boys. But it’s all in good fun! The truth is that boys can be great friends. We’re not talking about boyfriends, we’re talking about guy friends. There’s a difference.

  Guy friends can be easier to hang out with than girls. Even though boys may not be better listeners, you don’t have to worry as much about what you say around them. That’s partly because the odds are that boys are not necessarily big gossipers. Plus, you probably won’t be competing with guy friends, so there’s less friction. Finally, guys have their own perspective on life, which means they have interesting ideas you might never have thought about.

  Don’t let a guy friend assume that being your friend means more than it does, though. A guy might fall madly in love with a girl if he believes the girl is friends with him because she likes him. If he goes from friendship to loveship, there may be no cure!

  Crushes

  “You see an awful lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.”

  —Erica Jong

  Look, this isn’t a romance book, but you’ll probably have crushes on different people during your life. Crushes are normal, but girls often confuse having a crush with falling in love. You have to be careful. Some girls fall in love easily, and others just step in it. (That is a joke.)

  Sometimes a crush can be so powerful that a girl gets completely obsessed with a boy. She can’t stop thinking about how great he is and hoping that he feels the same way about her. She gets butterflies in her stomach just thinking about him! Maybe the longest-lasting crushes are the ones we have with celebrities. That’s because we (almost) never meet the actual celebrity to find out he’s not perfect.

  If you ever have a killer crush and want to come back down to Earth, think about this: Almost all women wash their hands after using the restroom
. But only 75 percent of men (celebrities included!) do, and the percentage is even lower for boys. Do you really want to hold hands with someone who might not use soap?

  If you do have a crush on someone, you might want to keep it to yourself. That’s because when other girls find out you like someone, a magical spell is cast and they realize that he’s fantastic too! Then they might try to be tricky.

  You: That Timmy sure is great!

  Your “friend”: Oh, let me tell you, he is SUCH a creep! Let me steer you in the right direction . . . You should be going out with Brandon. He is a great guy!

  You: Really?

  Your “friend”: You bet! (To herself: Now Timmy is mine! All mine! Ha ha ha!)

  Another classic is when you share that you have a crush on a boy you don’t really know. When you find out that your friend likes him too, you feel jealous and possessive, even though he’s a stranger!

  Finally, this can happen when you tell your friend who you have a crush on:

  You: That Timmy is sure great!

  Your friends (all together): Ew! He is SO nerdy!